'Ponders of an intelligent Idiot'

Dear Journal,

Just listening to the new bloc party song that is out – its okay but so many of their songs, especially the popular ones all just sound the same…although I like the sort of funky 90’s dance piano going on in the tune.

Ah today was pretty much a disaster… I sort of had a feeling it would be especially considering this morning I just felt rubbish.  Had so many thoughts just randomly passing through my head at such an early time and it was just pissing me off. 

Gladly got lost in some Interpol, which is a band I am really loving.  Its all about the music as well as the lyrics! Plus it is nice to just get lost in their melodies.

It was really all from work… the disaster that is. They expect so much from you sometimes that you wonder how it is humanly possible, but at the end of the day it is only a meaningless job.  I understand people with passion for their work, but people with passion for just undermining and walking over people? 

That is just sick. 

(HA WORKING MANS BLUES BY BOB DYLAN CAME ON. PERFECT.)

I need to take note of everything from now on in work, just to keep myself right and keep note of the workload that I have.  Time myself and learn to justify my reasons for doing something.  I know how to do my job, okay sometimes I can’t be fucked and just do stuff at a minimal degree of professionalism but it is still right and passable, I never do a shit job.

Perfection is something that can never be achieved if it could be then what would be the challenge? Think about it, perfection is something desired and constantly aimed towards and used to motivate but can never actually be achieved. If we all could achieve perfection there would be no challenge.  No spur to develop and move on because it is already perfect. And the thing is, the world is all about change and developing, so something that is ‘perfect’ one minute won’t be the next.  So…timeless Perfection can never be achieved.  Sorry lost in thought.

I wasted today because of my bad mood and I put David into an awkward position, I don’t think he really knew what to say.  Well he did say that.  I don’t mind because at least he tried.  I am surprised I phoned him. I always keep my problems to myself and sort of deal with them and never share them.  Strange for me to want to talk to David about it, but I guess that means something.

My room isn’t tided, the websites I have been scowering through haven’t be touched, I even just had sandwiches for dinner and my washing isn’t in my cupboard all because of this mood.

Ah well you need to have bad moods, its part of life – as much as I sound like an ancient old weathered man there I just want to say I am a big believer in Ying and Yang as an example of how we experience life.  Here is another big thought train, feel free to ignore.

You need the bad in life, because if you don’t have the bad then you can’t know what the good is.  Without something to compare with, e.g. I feel so good because of this cup of tea compared to how bad I felt sitting in a bad mood.  It really is simple.

Anyway, one funny thing happened today, Derek in work downloaded some spyware with mega porn and it installed on his google browser and he was panicking on how to get rid of it because of his (pregnant) girlfriend was planning on using the computer tonight.  Wonder how he got on. =].

Night.

P.S Tomorrow will be excellent.